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Two Toes Goes to Town

a short story by Jim Sutton

stories, parables & verse

the man who was nothing

echoing forever

a turn-key success

the two ants

the light

Two Toes Goes to Town

the soul now silent

Panteblonius Rising  

Starry-eyed Simpletons

knuckles and the bozo

Elephant Toast

final debate

what Jesus did  (my story)

Mortimer's fear

two good legs 

first memories of God

three beans & a sponge 

about the potatoes 

Ernie's Christmas prayer

Pagdamenor awakens

Toby's war

braffolo, a pig for our times

behind the closet door

tale of the blue bird

ol' Snuff

Ralph's new adventure – the story of one dog's life

building barns

down to the sea

attacks of the purple-headed blubber munchers

trouble with red hats 

two gallons of paint 

of birds & puppies

two dogs & an egg

not every offer is what it first appears to be

doc "tickles" 

last & first things

childhood & the beast

where cats & burros have gone

early promises

song #14

what is the meaning of life?

finding my way

the critical role of work

black night, dark thoughts 

one day

pondering

pondering 2

monkey's uncle?

happy by the sea

walking on sand



It's a fact of life: Not everyone who means well does well. We see this truth demonstrated quite often, by the people around us, by our own mistakes, by local and regional officials, and even by powerful leaders. So it should come as no surprise that the local officials in the following story prove to be less than perfect in understanding, and less than perfect in their execution of justice. Thank God for the children (and for the children at heart ) who sometimes manage to save the day.


Two Toes the giant, was a most reluctant ogre. He had grown up alone in the countryside, far from the curious eyes of regular folk. Two Toes knew that he was unusual. His own mother and father had already been quite big, a good two feet over the tallest person ever recorded. But Two Toes had passed them in size while he was still very young. They marveled at his great size and superior strength, true enough. Every parent is proud of the child they love. But they soon began to fear that he would draw way too much attention, as they watched him grow bigger and stronger with every passing season.

So they moved into the wilderness woods, beyond the rugged peaks of mountains that were high enough and cold enough to keep most people away. They built a cabin at the bottom of a steep slope, and tried their best to hide their son from those who would rob him of life and liberty. And they often warned him to stay far away from human beings.

Two Toes was not his real name, of course. But that was the name given to him by the occasional hiker and adventurer who might see him moving among the trees. His real name was Joseph MacDougal, and his loving family usually called him Joe.

Joe liked to hear stories and his parents often read books to him, since he was so big that the tiny print in the books was very hard to see. But he didn't like the fact that almost all the old stories of giants showed them as both stupid and mean. "To be so big and powerful," said Joe, after hearing one tale of wicked giants, "and to have such a small heart, is the greatest evil of all."

Two Toes Joe was not sorry to be a giant. He loved walking along the forest and looking out over the tops of trees. He loved talking to the owls and ravens who often perched high up in the branches. And he loved being able to lift large logs and rocks when his father was working the small fields by their home. In fact, Joe proved to be quite helpful in building the oversized rooms needed just for him.

But Joe the giant did miss the opportunity to play with other children when he was growing up. He did not like having to hide alone in the woods all his life. So one day, when Joe was almost a teenager, he decided to just go into town anyway. He had a pretty good idea where he wanted to go, because his father often talked about the different cities and towns that were within walking distance. (And walking distance for Two Toes was not as short as it might be for you and me.)

It's normal, I suppose, for young men to reach an age where they decide to rebel against their father's rules. It seems to be a part of growing up. Whatever the cause and the reasons, Two Toes Joe felt that he could not hide another day in the woods all alone. But at least he had the good sense to be careful. He did not go the shortest way to the town he chose to visit. Instead, he planned a route that would take him in a very large circle. That way, it would not be so easy to track or retrace his path back to the family home in the woods. After all, even though Two Toes was a true giant, about six times as tall as even the most successful basketball stars, he was not stupid or mean. He was just Joe.

Rising from bed early one morning, Joe got dressed in his very best clothes -- all hand made by his loving mother -- and started off in the opposite direction of where he actually planned to go. His folks didn't think much about it, since Joe often walked through the high mountains and wooded valleys alone. The giant young man traveled over bare rock for most of his journey, knowing that even with his great size and weight he was not likely to leave any tracks on solid stone. After a little while, he turned and then turned again, and soon he could see the town he would visit, off in the distance.

That visit, as the whole world now knows, is a matter of history. Fortunately for Joe and his family, almost no one believed the news reports that resulted from it. Still it was risky business, and Joe learned a mighty valuable lesson. And he now knows the wisdom of his father's rules about living in hiding.

Here is one of the news stories that was broadcast the evening after Joe went to town:


Eyewitness News Report: Two-toed Giant Terrorizes City

Witnesses say that you could see the giant from miles away, over the tops of tall trees and buildings. Dressed in clothing that resembled that of peasants in Medieval Britain, the giant walked about (but not well) in open-toed sandals, which revealed that each foot had only two toes. Technically, then, he was a four-toed giant. Yet medical experts claim that his toes were not the only unique characteristic. They say that he is much taller than any human being ever recorded in history.

Anyway, Two-Toes, as everyone calls him (but no one was calling out to him) walked about the edges of the city for about 90 minutes, and then he began to enter town. Police say that was when they became involved, as their jurisdiction begins and ends at the city boundaries.

While he was trying to be careful to avoid stepping on cars and people, a few smaller autos were damaged when drivers veered wildly to flee the giant. And quite a few pedestrians were injured when they ran into each other, or into light poles, sign posts, and even buildings, trying to avoid the giant.

No one was able to say just where Two-Toes came from or why he was here. This reporter tried to interview Two-Toes but he would not comment. (It's possible, of course that he never saw or heard me, since I kept a safe distance of several miles at all times.)

Anyway, when police chief Monty Summers was asked what the authorities were doing to keep the city safe from giant attacks, he stated that the municipality had no standing Giant Protection Program. Mayor Franklin, however, said later that the city council would be meeting on the issue next month.

Two-Toes walked for several blocks through city streets, and rested for a short while in Sterling Park downtown. Children on a previously planned field trip there reportedly fed him their sack lunches. School teachers estimated that the giant may have eaten some 120 sack lunches, as there were 5 5th grade classes on the trip to Sterling Park and local museums.

School officials deny that the district had any prior knowledge of the giant's visit to the city, or that the field trips were planned to coincide with Two-Toes stop at the park. Police Chief Summers, however, appeared suspicious, saying, "Seems mighty suspicious to me that they just happened to be there in time to cater lunch."

Traffic in the central area was stalled due to spectators and what police call rubber-necking drivers. Children from all along the giants path through town gathered to follow him, even those who were supposed to be in class. And this situation is what kept police from being able to simply shoot him down.

Police Chief Summers was furious. "We could've killed him easy lots of times, if those brat kids would've stayed clear! As it was, we couldn't take any shots, cause if you even kill just one kid, the parents and the news people would've howled something terrible. And then we would be the bad guys!"

Several other witnesses corroborate the police report. Irma Wimpleton from East Gipton was visiting the courthouse and saw Two-Toes sitting in the park.

"Oh, you should've seen it," she said. "Soon as he sat down, those kids were all over him. They were jumping on his feet and climbing up all over his legs and in his lap, and some even made it up to his shoulders. I don't see how he could even breathe. The kids were everywhere, screaming and laughing and running all over."

Retired Army Captain, Frank Lewis, was at the park when Two-Toes entered the area. When we asked him what happened to the giant, he said, "Well, I just about soiled myself. That's what happened! This giant fella took two steps, and bang! he went from 10th Avenue to the center of the park. Then He moved a couple of the trees out of the way, pulling them right outta the ground. And he just sat down. And then the kids came running and screaming from everywhere. It was like an open battle all in a time of war, except that the kids were laughing and tackling the giant like he was just another kid or something."

Vanishing Giant?

What everyone wants to know is what happened to Two-Toes after his visit to Sterling Park. Dozens of witnesses say they saw him exit the park to the east, stepping right over the County Courthouse, and lumbering away.

"His head could still be seen over the trees and office buildings of downtown," said Jack Cardwell, a business owner from down the street. "I watched him walk away, and I was glad to see him go."

But no one seems to know where he went after that. Because of all the commotion around the park, it seems that no one was left in the streets east of the courthouse to see where Two Toes went. If there are any witnesses, they've yet to come forward. This situation further frustrates police as they seek to pursue the giant and to protect the citizens of our town.

"It's like he was here one minute and just gone the next," commented Police Sergeant Hathaway. "We were ordered to follow him in our cars, and by the time we were able to get around the crowds and traffic of downtown, he was just gone. No one seems to have seen where he went."

Foot prints were clearly visible along the earlier portion of Two-Toes journey from the country roads west of town into the city and into the park. And a few are still visible around and just beyond the County Courthouse. But beyond that they seem to just fade away.

Children who followed the giant into the park didn't follow him out, but no one is saying why. They simply crowded up around the courthouse, completely blocking the sidewalks and street. It took police and concerned citizens nearly half an hour to work their way through the tightly packed crowd of children. And by that time, no one was able to track the giant.

And so tonight the mystery remains: What happened to Two-Toes the Giant? Police and city officials are asking anyone with information to please step forward. While children seem to be mostly undisturbed by the giant's visit to the city, adults across the county are traumatized. Several medical doctors have said that requests for prescription medications are up as a result of Two Toes' appearance. And insurance adjusters say that rates for the county will also go up in order to pay for the reported damage done by the giant.

--End of News Report--


As dangerous as the whole event proved to be, Joe returned safely home that evening, with many stories to tell of his adventures. His mother and father were horrified to learn that he had gone into town, but greatly relieved to see that he made it safely back. Everyone kept an extra watch for the next few weeks, to see if anyone would be able to track Joe back to the house.

But after a while, they all began to relax. It soon became evident that no one was coming after Joe. Always after that Two Toes Joe did his very best to obey his father. And he never did grow tired of telling the story of the day he went to the city.


©2005 by Jim Sutton
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This page last edited 11/29/09

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